I often get frantic texts from friends telling me how incredibly offended they are by something the guy they’re seeing did. It’s usually a weird, small thing that’s driving them absolutely insane, but they’re not sure if it’s actually a big enough deal to be going this crazy over, so they ask all their friends what to do. I call it the “Am I being crazy?” convo.
You know the convo I’m talking about. It’s the one where you’re very clearly so offended by whatever small thing has happened, but that little rational part of you knows this isn’t necessarily the biggest thing in the world. So you wonder, “Should I be offended by this?”
Obviously, the answer to this question is “yes.” If you’re feeling something, you should let yourself feel it. More than that, you should be able to be honest with your significant other about what’s offending you without worrying about whether or not you “should” be feeling that way.
But that truth doesn’t stop us from freaking out and asking all of our friends whether or not our offense is merited. So, I’ve decided to streamline this process for you with my new weekly column, “Should You Be Offended?”
It’s like the group text you send out to all of your friends, but way better because it’s with way more people.
For this week’s installment of “Should You Be Offended?” we posed the question of whether or not you should be offended that your significant other is consistently choosing his/her sibling of the opposite sex over you.
So, if you’re a guy, should you be offended if your girlfriend CONSTANTLY chooses to hang out with her brother over you? And if you’re a girl, should you be offended if your boyfriend is constantly choosing to hang out with his sister over you?
As always, I posed the question to 50 trusty readers.
Before I tell you what they said (because I know you’re DYING to know), it’s important to note that if something genuinely offends you and your feelings are hurt, it’s OK to feel that way.
And it’s OK to voice how you’re feeling to your partner.
You should be in a relationship where you’re comfortable with letting yourself be vulnerable, and with a partner who doesn’t want you feeling jealous or insecure.
That being said, if you’re just dying to know what the people think of your situation, I’ve got your back.
We asked 50 people (ages 19 to 51) on whether or not they think you should be offended if your significant other is ALWAYS bailing on you to hang with their sibling.
A little more than half of them (52 percent) agreed that you should not be offended.
The other half of the respondents were pretty split between “yes” (26 percent) and “other” (22 percent).
The reasonings behind the “other” responses ranged from “Consistently, yes. Now and then is fine,” says Aubrey*, 25, to “If you are NEVER invited, after a certain amount of time I think it’s understandable to be weirded out,” says Laura, 22.
Most people in this category, however, echoed the sentiments of Schuylar, 25, who says, “Only if it’s in a sexual way. That no fly in my house.”
Um, yes. Because that is called incest.
So, to end this debate: Most people agree that, unless your SO is banging his sister, let them hang out.
It’s no big deal.
*Name has been changed.